In the Grasp Read online

  I’ve only ever really kissed one other boy before—Brody Kemper, who kissed like a fish. It was disgusting…and sloppy. I’ve always secretly wondered what it would be like to kiss Jack again, and now that I know, I don’t ever want to stop. The kiss in the hallway today was nothing like our brief first kiss in seventh grade.

  But that kiss also just completely changed the dynamic for our friendship. Does he even realize that? What did that kiss mean to him? Is it too much to hope that Jack wants me to be his girlfriend? He hasn’t had any serious girlfriends in the past—thank God, since I’m positive now that I wouldn’t be able to hide my jealousy—but I know he’s kissed other girls before, or at least one other girl. He told me about Jenny Blake after that football party freshman year. I was relieved when he confessed that he thought it was bad, and I remember laughing my ass off when he told me how scared he was that she was going to suck his face off. It was also that moment that gave me my first clue that my feelings for Jack had officially strayed from the friend zone, or else I wouldn’t have been as bothered as I was that he kissed her at all.

  Truthfully, I’ve always thought Jack and I would end up together. It almost feels too good to be true now that it looks like we’re actually heading that way. But I still have some lingering doubts. Jack’s been so focused on football and never seemed interested in wanting anything serious with anyone. What if he doesn’t see this as a long-term thing, but more of a friends with benefits arrangement, like some of the guys on his football team? I’d be devastated.

  The doorbell rings, and I immediately jump up from my bed and rush downstairs. My dad beats me to the door and greets Jack with his usual warm smile. My dad loves Jack and would probably be thrilled if we got together, especially since Jack is like the athletic son my dad never had. Both of my older brothers are insanely nerdy—Trevor is in robotics and wants to be a mechanical engineer when he gets older, and Connor is a hardcore gamer.

  Jack gives my dad a handshake and a smile before he catches sight of me. His blue eyes brighten, and his smile grows as his gaze lingers slightly longer on my lips. My cheeks heat with a blush that causes me to silently curse my fair skin while my lips tilt up in a smile that matches Jack’s. I swear all my feelings are on display, but Jack doesn’t seem to mind. His smile stays glued to his face.

  I turn to give my dad a hug goodbye and notice his gaze darting between the two of us and a slight furrow of his brow. If he notices that something’s changed between us, he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he leans in and hugs me tightly before turning to Jack.

  “Take care of my baby girl and have her back before her ten o’clock curfew.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  We’re both silent as we walk to Jack’s car and as he opens the passenger door for me again. When he gets into the car, he turns to me and says quietly, “You look beautiful, Paige.”

  My blush deepens, but I can’t help smiling at him—have I even stopped smiling since he got to my house? “You too.”

  Wait. What?

  Oh my God. I close my eyes as my cheeks flame for a completely different reason than before. “Um, actually…you know…I meant handsome. You look handsome. Not beautiful. Guys aren’t beautiful. That would be weird.” Crap. I’m rambling. I’ve never been nervous with Jack before, especially not like this, and now I sound like a complete moron.

  Fantastic, Paige. Nice one.

  He laughs and leans over the middle console, and the second his lips meet mine all my panic disappears. It’s like the entire world stops spinning while his lips are pressed gently against mine. Having him this close to me is dangerous. God, he smells so good.

  He pulls back and looks at me, his eyes holding an unfamiliar tenderness. “I like you all nervous like this—it’s new.”

  I smack his arm, causing him to laugh more before he pulls out onto the road taking us to his house. The ride is comfortable, which isn’t surprising because Jack has always made me feel incredibly comfortable with him. We can talk about anything without it getting weird. It’s one of the reasons he’s my best friend. He’s always been my protector and confidant, and I don’t ever want that to change. I can’t imagine not having him in my life which is why all these new, intense feelings kind of terrify me. I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anyone, but I don’t want to risk losing him for good. I couldn’t handle that.

  When we get to his house, we head straight up to his room where we regularly study, but it was always innocent before. Right now, heading up to his room, it doesn’t feel innocent at all. The air seems to sizzle from the tension swirling around us, and studying is the last thing on my mind. Based on the heated look Jack gives me, I’m pretty sure it’s the last thing on his mind too.

  “Where are your parents tonight?” I ask.

  “They’re at an art gala in support of a show curated by Senator Rothburg’s daughter.”

  Jack’s dad is a reasonably famous lawyer representing several Congress members from Washington, Oregon, and California, as well as numerous celebrities. They’re constantly away at one event or another, but I’ve always been impressed by their devotion to their only child. They’ve never once missed one of Jack’s football games. I know it means a lot to him since he wants to make his parents proud. Honestly, how could they not be proud of him?

  Jack mostly closes the door to his room. He leaves it open a smidge, I’m assuming so he can hear the door downstairs open when his parents get home. But the act itself has my heart galloping erratically in my chest; he’s never closed the door like this before during one of our previous study sessions.

  He moves slowly toward me, his eyes darker than I’ve ever seen them, and takes my backpack off my shoulder, gently placing it on the ground. He stands in front of me and reaches with one hand to tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear. I look down, smirking bashfully toward the floor in some weak attempt at hiding my feelings from him, but I know it’s useless. There’s no way he hasn’t clued in to all that I’m feeling.

  Jack pushes my chin up gently with his index finger so that I’m looking at him. “Paige, I think we need to talk.” His tone is serious, his gaze no longer heated but cautious and reserved.

  My heart plummets as doubt suffuses me. Those aren’t exactly the best words to hear. They’re almost always followed by something terrible.

  “Okay,” I whisper.

  “You know you’re my best friend, right?”

  I nod, and he continues. “We’ve always told each other everything, right?”

  I nod again. I have no idea where he’s going with this, but I can’t speak. My heart is in my throat right now, preparing for the worst. He’s going to let me down easy, and I’m going to have to pretend to not be completely and utterly shattered that I have unrequited feelings for my best friend.

  “I have to tell you something.” He looks deep into my eyes like he’s searching for something from me. Then he whispers, “I have a crush on someone.”

  Oh, God. My chest feels like it’s caving in as my heart breaks and my worst fears are realized. I knew today was too good to be true. That kiss in the hallway meant nothing. And what the hell was that kiss in the car? Was that some pity kiss because he knew he was about to let me down easy? Ugh, I feel so incredibly stupid right now. The burn of tears stings the back of my eyes, but I refuse to cry in front of Jack. Not now.

  He continues on, his words coming out a little faster. “I probably shouldn’t be feeling this way about her, but I can’t seem to stop myself. She’s absolutely gorgeous, and I can’t stop thinking about her.”

  I can’t breathe. It’s like every word out of his mouth is designed to suck the air from my lungs and make my stomach tighten in knots from the invisible blow. My poor heart aches in my chest as I attempt to remind myself that this was always a possibility. I knew there was a chance things would go this way, but I wasn’t as prepared as I should’ve been. Lesson learned.

  I can’t stay here any longer. I glance toward the door before reluc
tantly looking back at Jack. I hate how handsome he is and how badly I still want him, even as he talks about liking someone else. His mouth turns down and his eyes get a slightly panicked look as his chest starts to rise and fall faster. If I wasn’t fighting against my own heartbreak right now, I’d ask him if he was okay.

  “Paige?”

  I can’t be this close to him anymore. Pushing him away, I avoid his questioning gaze and try to think of an exit strategy.

  “You know what, I just remembered that I, um…” Shit, I can feel the tears as they start to stream down my face, and I suck in a deep breath before looking down. “I have to go. I hope it works out with your crush.” My voice cracks at the end, and I wince, hoping he didn’t hear it.

  I reach for my backpack lying on the floor by his feet, but he stops me.

  “Damn. I messed this up. Paige, my crush is…” He’s observing me carefully, and all I can do is wish the ground would swallow me up right now. I still can’t believe how badly I misinterpreted this whole situation.

  “Paige, you’re my crush. I have a crush on you.”

  It takes a minute for the words to fully register, but as soon as they do, my gaze shoots to his. The tears slow as my brain finally catches up with the words that came out of his mouth.

  Jack brushes the tears from my face. “Paige, did you hear me?” His normally bright and happy eyes are filled with worry, and his jaw moves like he’s nibbling the inside of his lip.

  “Please say something,” he says, his voice hoarse and nervous.

  “You like me? Like, like me like me?” God, I sound so much like a teenage girl right now, I want to vomit.

  A small smile graces his gorgeous face. “Yeah, I like you. A lot, actually. I don’t want to mess up our friendship, but I also don’t want to miss out on seeing where this could go.”

  He gently clasps my hand in his, brushing the top of it with his thumb. A shiver goes through my body, and goosebumps break out across my skin at the contact. My heart has started to slow to a more normal beat, and my emotions are calming down as his words wrap around me.

  Jack likes me.

  “So, you want to date me?”

  He cups the back of his neck with his hand, rubbing it a little self-consciously. “Well, yeah. Do you want to date me?”

  “Yes,” I whisper. I can’t believe this is happening. Pinch me. I must be dreaming.

  His face breaks out in the radiant smile I’m so used to seeing on him. “So, you’ll be my girlfriend?”

  I can’t help but smile back at him, especially hearing the excitement in his voice. “Yes.”

  I giggle and throw my arms around his neck, kissing him like I’ve wanted to since he picked me up. His arms go around my waist, and he holds me close to him as our lips and tongues explore each other’s mouths.

  This is really happening.

  I’m finally getting everything I’ve ever dreamed.

  FOUR

  Despite not being able to think about anything but Paige for the past month, I’ve still managed to do well in my classes and on the football field. I’m not your average dumb jock—something I pride myself on. I get As and Bs and maintain a solid GPA while being the starting quarterback for our school’s undefeated football team.

  As much as I love football, none of that compares to the thrill I get every time I enter school holding Paige’s hand. I look over at her walking down the hall next to me, her petite hand in my much larger one. She’s wearing my letterman jacket, her hair falling softly halfway down her back. She’s honestly never looked sexier.

  I overheard one of the senior players talking in the locker room about how his girlfriend surprised him by wearing only his letterman jacket and nothing else. He said it was the best sex he’d ever had. Looking at Paige, I keep thinking about what she would look like wearing only my letterman jacket.

  Fuck, that’s not a smart thought to have when walking down the halls. The last thing I need is to pop another boner at school—something that has become a constant problem since Paige and I started dating.

  I’m a teenage boy. I was thinking about sex pretty regularly before I even had a girlfriend. Now that I do, and that girlfriend is Paige—who is smoking hot—I honestly can’t stop thinking about what sex will be like with her. But neither of us are ready to take that step. We’ve talked about it. We’re both virgins, and right now I’m kind of thankful for that. I love the idea that I’ll be the first guy Paige is with. The thought of anyone else touching her makes my blood boil.

  It’s moments like this when I realize that I can’t imagine my life without Paige in it. I know I’m only sixteen and way too young to think about marriage and all that, but I know Paige is the one. I’ve loved her as a friend for most of my life and now…well, I haven’t told her yet, but I’m in love with her.

  She glances at me, her gorgeous brown eyes filled with happiness, and I swear my heart stops. Goddamn, she’s so fucking gorgeous.

  “What are you smiling about?” she asks, her lilting voice making my pants feel tighter while the rest of my body feels like it’s floating. I didn’t even realize I was smiling, but I shouldn’t be surprised. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling in the last month.

  “Just thinking about our date this weekend.” I squeeze her hand, and she smiles at me.

  How did I get so lucky? Some days I really want to go back to five-year-old me and give that kid a big fucking high five for befriending this girl.

  * * *

  I pick Paige up at seven o’clock. It’s a Saturday night, so her curfew is midnight instead of her weekday curfew of ten o’clock. Her dad seems happy that we’re dating, although her mom seems a little cautious. I think she’s worried about what happens if we break up, but that’s never going to happen. I’m in too deep already. Paige makes me feel things I never knew were possible. She pushes me to be my best, supports me, and makes me feel like the happiest guy in the world. Why would I ever give that up?

  Paige comes down the stairs, and my gaze scans up her body, my breath stopping in my chest. It can’t be healthy that my heart keeps stopping like this, right? I don’t think it’s normal. None of the other guys talk about feeling like this with their girls.

  Reminding myself to breathe, I reach out to hold Paige’s hand. She’s wearing a blue dress with a lace print design that hugs her upper body and then flares out at the waist. It stops about midthigh, showing off enough leg for me to be sufficiently horny at the sight of her. But, let’s be real, I’m a guy—I’d be horny looking at her ankles.

  I give her a simple kiss on the cheek, instead of kissing her enticing luscious pink lips like I really want to since both her parents are standing right there. Putting my hand on the small of her back, I lead her toward my car after saying our goodbyes to her parents.

  Her hand rests casually in mine, our fingers laced together and resting on her thigh as I drive to the seafood restaurant that’s gotten great reviews. Paige likes simple things, but I really want to spoil her and make her as happy as she makes me, so I thought I’d treat her to a fancy date instead of our usual burger joint down the street from my house.

  When we get to the restaurant, our conversation flows, like always. She asks all about my away game last night, and I tell her how close it was. We were playing West Hills High School. They have one of the best teams in the league and put up one hell of a fight. We won, but just barely. It wasn’t my best night.

  Paige comes to every home game but can’t usually go to the away games. Her parents don’t let her ride in a car with anyone but me, and since I have to ride the bus for away games, she doesn’t typically come. I’m hoping next season they’ll loosen up and let her ride with one of the other players’ girlfriends because I want her at all my games. Her smile has this odd ability to help relax me when I’m playing. It sets me on fire the rest of the time, but it’s calming when I can glance up at the stands and see her smiling down at me. I definitely could’ve used it last night.

  A
fter dinner, we walk along the water. The weather has cooled down significantly in the past week, and the sun is just starting to set. There’s a chill in the air, but the view is unbeatable. The beauty of the orange, yellow, and pink colors of the sky meeting the deep blue of the water is breathtaking.

  When she shivers, I take off my jacket and drape it over her shoulders while we sit at a wooden bench at the end of a pier, and I put my arm around her. I could hold Paige forever and never get tired of it. I thought holding a football was the best feeling in the world until Paige and I started dating.

  She sighs and leans against me. “Tonight has been perfect.” She turns to me, the tenderness in her eyes making my heart beat a little faster. “Actually, every night with you is perfect.”

  This is the moment I’ve been waiting for. She’s looking at me with that beautiful smile on her lips and her chocolate-brown eyes sparkling.

  I tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. “I love you, Paige.”

  Her eyes widen slightly before her smile grows, and she whispers, “I love you, too, Jack.”

  She leans forward, pressing her soft lips to mine, and I kiss her deeply before pulling back and giving her my classic smirk.

  “Just so we’re clear, I mean that I’m in love with you, as in I love you more than a friend.”

  She slaps my arm—I not so secretly love when she does that—and laughs. I’ve never heard a better sound in all my life, and it’s my new mission in life to make sure I always make her laugh. Unable to hold back, I lean in to kiss her again.

  Her tongue darts between my lips, and the kiss goes from soft to frantic in a heartbeat. I grab the back of her head and devour her mouth, our tongues dancing together. We’ve gotten really good at making out—I mean really good. I feel one of her hands slide from my knee up toward my crotch, and my brain nearly short-circuits. She’s not doing what I think she’s doing, is she?